Craving!

Its been awhile. I've been craving on something which is make me so sad and i lack of that thing. I just want write it on my diary but i can't . why... i also don't know why but i try to make it right and fine. act cool n normal even tho its not. i'm sick of it. i really tired for everything. i admit it. if one day you see this blog didn't have any updated less than a year, its mean i am gone. maybe died or passed away. either two. its not me to pick the way i die but its me who control the innermost of me. not u. u just a watcher who's not in my shoes. please take note.

to my dear reader (whoever read this), i am so thankful for your concern and your time for reading this rubbish notes. it is nothing i swear. why? everything that happen to me is my own decision and my own life. non of u controlling me life. EXCEPT ALLAH SWT. Only Him i can rely to. Not YOU!

I am struggling with myself and i know its sucks to be sick inside my head but outside looking so fine. what i want in my life is to be a teacher and be part of a government worker but its all destroyed with only simple reason. hate to remember it. thanks for your spirit and support towards me (even tho i don't know who).

So being part of me is a mess. i am being messed up with my own life. i blame myself. thank you