Pelawat


Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Craving!

Its been awhile. I've been craving on something which is make me so sad and i lack of that thing. I just want write it on my diary but i can't . why... i also don't know why but i try to make it right and fine. act cool n normal even tho its not. i'm sick of it. i really tired for everything. i admit it. if one day you see this blog didn't have any updated less than a year, its mean i am gone. maybe died or passed away. either two. its not me to pick the way i die but its me who control the innermost of me. not u. u just a watcher who's not in my shoes. please take note.

to my dear reader (whoever read this), i am so thankful for your concern and your time for reading this rubbish notes. it is nothing i swear. why? everything that happen to me is my own decision and my own life. non of u controlling me life. EXCEPT ALLAH SWT. Only Him i can rely to. Not YOU!

I am struggling with myself and i know its sucks to be sick inside my head but outside looking so fine. what i want in my life is to be a teacher and be part of a government worker but its all destroyed with only simple reason. hate to remember it. thanks for your spirit and support towards me (even tho i don't know who).

So being part of me is a mess. i am being messed up with my own life. i blame myself. thank you

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

LAMA !

Hai semua! Assalamualaikum! Apa khabar?

Gosh i don't know who is still reading my blog since awhile.

Btw, i am very bossy with my own life but sometimes i just want to end it very soon.

WHY?

Just to end the pain.

SOMETIMES, its hurt.

Like so much hurting. and its killing me straight to my heart.

Its make my heartbeat stop for a moment and start breathing again after i settle down.

Who is in me?

Is there any demon inside?

Mental health problem is real.

I just afraid of something unsure and i am afraid of everything.

Manusia tetap buat kesilapan even dah ada experience and for me

MANUSIA MEMANG TAK PERNAH LARI DARIPADA MASALAH.


Why aku menulis macam ni?

I also have no idea.
I just miss to be a blogger
and
DOING MY PASSION HOBBY

such as;
game and vlogging (in my own world)

I need to start doing what i want to do.
I try.

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am i crazy? or just stress?

  halo. im back. seriously i missed writing here. its like my personal diary on public LOL. i dont mind because nobody knows me anyway. so, ...

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