Bila Rindu :D

Assalamualaikum,

and hello my friends.

lately, im quite busy dear. i got no time to update this blog. and, im rarely using english on my blog. maybe, to get the feel of reading with full of emotion. right?

so,

since my grandma passed away (almost 2 year), i can see my mom be a different person. sometimes, she feels lonely, act like tough but seriously damn hurt. i think, maybe she missed her late mom. but, what can i help? im a such as loser daughter. i got nothing to help her.

what can i say, just keep on reciting Al-Quran and prays for her. always be the best. and benda dah lepas. just lepaskan. kesian. takut arwah tak tenag kat sana. tahu kenapa arwah tak tenang? sebab, kita macam mengharapkan dia untuk datang balik. dia tak tenang kat sana, so please let it go (rasa sebak).

who says, aku tak sayang my grandma? whenever i remind her, it's make me crying! im still remember when she cook for me (form 2) before im going to school. she cook a simple dish. ikan goreng and kuah sikit. whatever kuah it should be fine. and now, i suddenly missed her sambal tumis! SubhanaAllah! its really delicious!

my mom is a teacher, so when im in secondary school, i was in evening season. my mom school have 2 season. so, when its come to me and my mom at the same season, my grandma always cook for me. she afraid that im not eating and i can't study well because of empty stomach. (what a kind a nice hearted)

most of people think and always act like "kalau nenek je mesti kejam and jahat, en?" nope. the definition is wrong. im not saying its totally wrong, just on my opinion, its based on how great your grandma are. don't just simply judging. right?

my grandma take care of me since my mom give birth on 5th January 1997. but the really sad thing is, my grandpa passed away after 3 days im exist. so, he just can see me for awhile. my mom said, my grandpa already sick for a long time. but, she never knew he will gone forever that time.

my grandma feed me and i know her well.. not really well, but i know that my grandma also have a hard time. she always crying for some reason. one of it, she missed her sons. hmmm.. her sons all grown up and not stay in KL. some of them at Perak, Pahang, Putrajaya and some more im not sure.

so, let's that words speak up. i know it can't say a word. but, act like it talking to you like that. most of you already know this quote, because it is a fact. kan? but why you keep on denying? it shouldn't be like that.

for me, my grandma is the real mom for me. why? because she can hide all of her feelings and keep it as her own secret by herself. im not sure if i'm following her way right now. i know that im a silent keeper but seriously, im gonna salute her. she keep it and remain secret till her last breathe :')

aku memang jenis kuat pendam. but, zaman sekarang ada banyak laman sosial yang boleh kita share untuk public readers. contoh mcam blog ni sendiri. kan? maksudnya, aku ni just silent keeper to human directly. but you will know the real me by reading this blog. sebab, banyak benda aku share kat blog.

my mom seriously don't know who i am. what i want to be. she's trying to be my friend, but i can't. maybe because the way she treat me is different like my grandma did.

im still remember, when my grandma teach me how to read Al-Quran. i was so little that time. she ask me to read with her when weekend. when im fighting with my mom, my grandma always cook for us. my dad that time so busy with his work. but, he will never get mad unless my mom keep on babbling.

a guy will have that limit of patience but when you hit his limit, its gonna be explode like a volcano! damn dangerous. im not kidding~

sometimes im thinking, why i got hit? im not playing too much when im kid. im just follow my brother to have a ride with his friends. and then i keep on studying. actually, im really boring of studying and keep on studying!

my childhoods not really awesome to be tell.. seriously, on my opinion, my mum keep on forcing me to study , study, study and study some more! whenever i feel bored, i will sit with my grandma and tell her "nina dah penat laa.. asyik belajar je.. otak pun letih.. hmm" my grandma just smile and said "takpe la. kalau penat minum air, rehat sekejap. *and smile*" itu la my grandma.

masa aku study, im not really study sebab my brain macam dah tepu. hahahaha... penat sangat la kot. the most struggling study when im in form 2. yaa form 2! not yet pmr but my mom ask me to study! hmm.. im so damn tired.

i have my tuition class almost 8 hours per week. common guys, if my school days is almost 8 hours per day, how can i study for another 8 hours?! hmmm... since i were in primary school, my mom teach me to study hard and always pushed me to keep on studying! she says "awak tu nak UPSR! kena dapat 5A!"

masa tu i mana la tahu UPSR tu apa.. so, i was like, "haihh.. penting la ni.. tu yang kena study jee" most of my childhood with BOOKS! but, im rejected that i hate book. i do loves book. but sometimes, not to read them, just to purchased it! *weirdo me*

okay aku dah merapu sampai kat childhood aku ... *tutup muka*

back to the topic,

so, bila aku terasa rindu kat seseorang, aku akan ingat balik kenangan aku dengan dia. pastu, aku akan sedekahkan al-fatihah dan sampaikan salam rindu melalui udara. *cewahhhh

but seriously, why im telling you all of this?

okay stop it.

suddenly otak aku freeze.

(maybe sebab minum sour plum blended) *yummm*

anyway, thanks for reading.

jasamu,

takkan dapat ku balas.

<3

D.R.E.A.M.S

Every post,

its gonna be a different story.

Sometimes,

about my life

jokes story

my experience

and

some more.

Apa itu mimpi?

pernah mimpi, kan?

kenapa kita bermimpi?

ada orang cakap

(ada laa orang tu yg cakap)

dia kata,

tidur ni mainan syaitan

(tak pasti)

but,

kekadang mimpi kita

indah

kekadang

horror!

Nak story sikit,

dulu aku ada mimpi benda yang sangat dahsyat! masa tu aku form 5 (Tahun 2) di KVL. masa tu time cuti, aku tidur balik lepas waktu subuh sebab memang kebiasaan kalau time cuti, semua budak asrama tidur sampai pukul 12pm.

nak dijadikan cerita, aku mimpi keadaan bumi masa tu macam dah sampai hari akhir atau kiamat. dalam mimpi tu, aku dalam flight. aku on the way balik KL sebab aku nak balik rumah. tiba- tiba dalam flight, semua orang kelam kabut and cuak. ada announcement dari attendant "Please sit back to your seat. and if u need the oxygen mask, just use it." lepas tu aku pun mcm tak senang duduk.

aku usha luar tingkap dan aku nampak macam ada air besar naik ke atas sampai mencecah awan (yang tidak lagi biru tapi MENDUNG) flight aku daripada kelajuan biasa, tiba- tiba jadi full speed! aku dapat rasakan macam naik jet pesawat. seram. tapi time tu aku masih tak sedar yg aku mimpi.

flight yang aku naik ni bukan biasa- biasa punya flight, flight aku ni boleh lalu kat jalan raya sebab ada emergency landing, pastu dia naik balik and laju sangat kelajuan dia. pastu flight aku dah mcm roller coaster kat railway kereta api. masa tu aku fikir macam tak logik.

flight kita orang akhirnya terhempas kat dalam lautan (laut mana pun tah la) aku pun berlari terus ke darat dan masa tu ada gempa bumi.. memang teruk sebab masa tu semua benda musnah. and lagi satu, masa dalam flight matahari dah muncul sebelah barat. dalam flight ramai jerit "MATAHARI TERBIT BELAH BARAT" and aku tengok sendiri, memang betul... sebab cahaya dia lain macam. aku ambil flight petang, so takkan la boleh cahaya terlampau cerah. betul tak? hmmm

masa tu memang aku takut sangat! dan aku memang tahu banyak dosa masa tu!

tiba- tiba aku tersedar dari tidur, waktu tu kat asrama nampak mendung macam nak hujan. hari Jumaat, setelah budak lelaki pergi solat jumaat, aku terdiam dan aku tak cerita pun kat kekawan sebab aku tak tahu nak cerita mcm mana. dan aku tahu semua tu mimpi je. tapi, boleh dijadikan sebagai iktibar. kan?

story yang aku tak share kat sesiapa

at last aku share kat blog.

but 

i think,

aku ada story kat someone.

siapa eh?

tah laaa nak ~

semakin hari,

aku semakin malas nak update blog.

rasa macam takde masa nak update.

hmmmm

Especially for Sis~

Assalamualaikum,

I'm the reason next you~

Hyee,,

this post is kinda special.

because,

i make this post for my beloved

and only,

SIS :)

maybe,

most of you are very wonder,

who is she?

nahhh.. i won't tell you

i just gonna let she know :P

so, in this post

i wanna tell you a lil bit about myself.

boleh?

name given,

Nur Sabrina bt Jamal

but most of them just call me

Sab, Wazien dll

*whatever*

i wanna let you know about my personalities.

- im very simple girl

- love to take a simple ways

- lovers of foodiesss

- hate games like football

- games lovers (gadget)

- not a fan to some peoples who act great

- a really friendly person

- you talk to me, i will talk to you

- can't wait to be in love~

okay yg last tu harapan :D

anyway, as you can see..

i am a really silent keeper.

tak share dengan semua orang masalah yg ada

or

maybe pape story pun tak cerita

(if u are not asking me)

but, the point is

why, i do that?

- nak jaga perasaan orang

- cerita yg membosankan

- story kurang penting berbanding soalan exam

- suka pendam sorang- sorang

- tak suka besarkan cerita

but,

kalau ditanya

dengan izin Allah,

aku cerita laa ~

to my beloved sister,

sab buat semua ni untuk kepentingan bersama

(lollzzz ayat buku)

seriously,

nak jaga hati semua orang,

i have to do it.

semua orang yang sab sayang,

sab sanggup berkorban,

walaupun

kekadang hati ni sakit.

tapi

pernah gembira.

tak selamanya hari kita mendung.

betul tak?

ni nasihat untuk akak,

"no matter what ever you do, just keep on path"

sab will always ada untuk akak when you feel low.

sentiasa keep in touch.

jangan 

time happy,

lupakan sab.

bila sedih,

baru nak contact balik.

~ HAHAHAHAHA ~

and one more thing,

SAB 

SAYANGKAN
AKAK <3

thanks for reading

*flying kiss*

Im changed *sob sob*

Assalamualaikum,

How are you? Hehehe...

(Maaf muka Asmira ditutup oleh tangan Sai)

So yaa... Itu budak kelas aku... Dah hidup dengan dorang selama 3 tahun pengajian kat KV Langkawi. Nak kata tak sekepala, maybe ada sikit. tapi bagi aku, semua orang ada pesonaliti yang berbeza- beza. so, diri kita sendiri tak dapat nak adapt semua yg jadi.

What is friendship?

Friend is "kawan"

Ship is "kapal"

(its just a rough translate)

but,

the real thing is,

apa yang aku faham melalui kawan ni,

no matter how hard u jatuh, dorang mesti ada bagi backup sbb dorang nak korang berjaya!

Kita kalau satu kelas, takde siapa pun nak rakan dalam kelas FAILED!

unless,

kau ada kawan yg kurang berguna

yang memang sah suka tengok orang gagal!

the truth is,

bila aku usha gambar lama,

aku nampak lebih ceria daripada sekarang.

Kenapa??

Hmmm...

kekadang, diri kita sendiri tak dapat faham kita.

Perempuan,

happy tiba- tiba

muram tiba- tiba

sedih tiba- tiba

and baru- baru ni,

aku jumpa kawan lama... and dia mengingatkan aku sesuatu..

benda yang aku memang tak nak ingat..

SAMPAI SEKARANG!

aku duk teringat...

" Aku selalu fikirkan pasal orang. Tapi, orang tak pernah kisah langsung pasal aku."

Yaaaa!

Aku dulu mmg macam tu..

but,

sejak masuk KV

aku mula lupakan semua benda.

aku dah tak OVERTHINKING

and now aku rasa, aku nak jadi balik mcm skola lama...

keep on stress out!

aku paling tak suka situasi macam tu :'(

banyak lagi gambar yang aku tak post.

why?

sebab for me,

biarkan gambar yang ada kat aku,

aku jadikan kenangan aku sorang jer...

hahahahaha ~

dalam hidup aku,

aku pernah 

dilukai,

disakiti,

dikhianati,

dibenci.

(semua benda negatif)

aku cuba untuk menjadi diri sendiri,

aku cuba menjadi insan yang terbaik.

but,

aku tak berjaya.

sebab aku hanya insan biasa.

I hope,

one day

i can be the best among the best.

I hope,

one day

i can succeed dunia and akhirat.

I hope,

one day

ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE!

-xoxo-