Tanpa mu :')

Assalamualaikum semua!

So how is it going? Everything is fine right?

Hahahaha! So, today already my second day of fasting. 

All muslims will fasting on Ramadhan month 

:)

How sweet is that right?

This year 2015 ,

will be really different.

Okay, 

i dunno how to story but I'm trying ...

This fasting month, 

slightly different because there's someone missing

FOREVER !

:')

She is my

Grandma.

When i think about her, i'm crying.

Maybe because i'm missing her so bad.

and

maybe i'm the only one who didn't come to her funeral.

I'm faraway on that time.

Study abroad the ocean.

I can't make it if i take an emergency flight.

Why?

The airport also far away from my home.

It will take some times to arrive.

and

I bet most of my family are really busy T_T

Gambar lama ...

That's my grandma grave. But the photo was taken last year after 3 days she passed away.

New grave i didn't snap it because i feel so sad.

(Nak update kat blog pasal arwah pun aku nak nangis je)

I live with my grandma since i was kid.

and till i'm 17 y/o.

She was passed away last year after 6 days my twin brother birthday.

On that time, 

I was in Langkawi.

Still studying.

One night i got a phone call from my mom,

she said my grandma in hospital.

I was so surprised!

But, 

my mom said she just fine :')

The following night, i was so happy !

I dunno why.

The next day on Monday,

when rollcall, 

my warden told me that my grandma passed away.

My warden just like so heartless.

On that time i was like very shock!

I'm speechless.

I'm not crying.

I'm remain silent.

Then ,

I'm crying so badly!

Felt like gonna fall down.

So hurt!

On that time, i was thinking i wanna go home!

But, i got my flight ticket on Thursday.

So,

i stay at school till that day.

My grandma already sick since she was slipped in her bathroom.

First time she fall , 

my dad sent her to hospital.

Doctor says "She just fine."

But, you know right

we are getting older and older.

She already old.

But, i treat her the way she right.

I feed her everyday (when sem break)

I bathe her nearly every day (also sem break)

But,

i did all of that!

Why ?

Because i know that she already old. 

and she cannot capable to do that anymore.

So , is that wrong by doing that for her???

My hard year was 2014.

Pretty hard to explain how i was feel on that time.

Kinda tough!

Semua kenangan bersama arwah, takkan ku lupakan.

Walaupun ada pahit dan manis,

Hanya Allah yang tahu

betapa indahnya kehadiranmu itu.

Engkau telah mengajar erti kehidupan yang berwarna- warni.

Segalanya perlu kau telan seorang diri.

Mengapa itu berlaku?
Kerana kau seorang mak kepada anak- anak yang dah berkeluarga.

Dan kini,

kau ku panggil 'nenek'.

Aku cucu kau.

Sejak bayi,

kecil,

sehingga kini,

aku sudah dewasa!

Kau melihat aku membesar sehingga aku berumur 17 tahun.

Umur mu tidak panjang,

tapi cukup bagiku untuk mengenali mu !

Kau telah banyak mengajar aku!

Memasak,

Mengaji,

Solat,

dan banyak lagi.

Tak terkira semuanya!

Semua kenangan bersama nenek,

muncul satu per satu.

Itu yang telah membuatkan hatiku sayu!

Tanpa kehadiran mu kini,

Menjadikan ku insan yang lebih kuat!

Ingatlah,

semua yang hidup pasti mati!

Jadi,

ku relakan hati untuk redha atas pemergian mu.

Hajah Maznah binti Husin.

7/9/2014 (Ahad)

Semoga roh dicucuri Rahmat-Nya!

~ Al- fatihah ~

Setiap doaku ada untuk mu.

Hanya Allah tahu betapa sayangnya aku kepada mu.

Mak, adik sayangkan mak okay :')